When I was in my early to mid teens I played a lot of role-playing games with mostly older friends, and one of them, Thor-Henning, who was a full five years older than me, was a social client, a hashish-smoking, over-weight anarchist who argued that we should all – when we became adults – not work and instead go on social welfare, because – he argued – that would bring the system down sooner.
At the time I was rather anti-social; I was skipping classes in school, I kept ending up in fist fights in school and outside of school as well, I trained martial arts and went to the rifle range to get access to ammo for my illegal rifle, that I stole from a house when I was 12. When the pro-Soviet Union hunting teacher at school held classes a friend of mine and I went to his home and stole some 2,500 rounds of ammo. I traded my old moped for 1,000 NOK and three bags of electronic detonators. I purchased an original SS-steel helmet for 300 NOK from one of my RPG-friends. Everything I did was really just a preparation for WWIII, and until that came I figured I could play guitars and RPGs. Some times I just sat there, wearing my SS-helmet, holding my loaded rifle; looking at the watch and wondering when the war would start. I had plenty of weapons and ammo, but not food for even a single day – because I figured I wouldn’t last long enough to ever need that. The war was to be my doom; I wanted to follow the path taken by those of my forebears whom I respected and looked up to. I guess I too was a rather depressed teenager.
Why? Well, I saw the world around me fall apart, and for some reason I felt as if everything that had been worth living for had been destroyed – and it had mainly happened during the Christianization of Europe and the last nail in the coffin was when Hitler’s Germany lost WWII. I would rather die for something that was long lost than live for anything in my lifetime. I thought that I would rather die for Hitler than life for what the victors had brought us.
My brother took another path and choose education and what is today seen as success. Yes; I was a loser. A real loser; no education save what we all have to have, no job, no wish for a job, no girlfriend, only loser friends like the one mentioned above, no hope for any future. But…. I was a loser by choice. I didn’t want a job where I had to pay taxes to a thoroughly rotten system. I didn’t want a girlfriend and later a family in this world; I saw bringing a child to this rotten world as the uttermost cruelty! I didn’t want to end up like my parents; useful «winners» with good jobs, contributing to the downfall of Europe by paying taxes to a criminal system. I choose to be a loser! As I saw it the biggest failure I could suffer was to be «successful» in this system.
When I see others attack people for being what most of us see as «losers» I think about this, how I wanted to be a «loser» rather than be good at something bad in a bad system. Naturally I was just a teenager; young and ignorant, but in hindsight I must say I did the right thing. When the game is «Rape Europe» I think losing is the best thing you can do.
Today I am older and wiser. Sure, some are both young and wise. Age doesn’t really matter. But I wasn’t, and in any case; today I am older and wiser, and in spite of facing some problems in life – like spending some time in prison – I am doing fine, even in this rotten world. Though instead of doing my best to end my own life, I do my best to stay away from the decay of this world; rather than try to fight the tidal wave I step aside and let it wash over the world. I have to relate to reality; there is nothing I can do about a tidal wave, save step aside and let it kill those who fail to do the same. When it has destroyed everything I will descend from the hills or mountains and build a new world. A better world. A European Europe. With this blog I try to make sure that as many as possible other Europeans do the same; my children need there to be others like them, or else everything is indeed lost.
So let this world fall, let it and everybody in it drown in all the filth they produce. Let this world set itself ablaze, and let it burn to ashes, along with everyone who clings to it. Build your fortress on a hill or in the mountains and sit there and just watch as the tidal waves wash this world clean. A new world will arise from the ashes of the old, green grass and tall trees will grow, flowery meadows and forests wide will appear. Fell no tear for what is lost when this world is cast by itself into the abyss: only hatred, stupidity, dishonesty, jealousy, greed and cruelty will be lost! A true Europe will be gained! A homogeneous, beautiful, harmonious and white Europe will be born from the ashes, like a Phoenix. Europe renewed. Europe reborn. Europe as it was and as it should be! Glorious Europe!
Yes, I am but an old man with a questionable past, and I will probably never see the Europe I love and long for, but I have children, and I hope they will some day be able to live in a European Europe. HailaR WôðanaR!
This is what I fight for;
